Step up and Show up with Determination

Two years ago I was excited that I could finally swim 300 yards without stopping.  Two weeks ago I did a 50 yard breath-holder.  What is that?  You swim in a pool for 50 yards without taking a breath.  Today I swam 3800 yards, which is just over 2 miles.  To me, this is mind blowing, two years ago, I never imagined that I could do any of that, I always knew other people who could swim far and hold their breath a long time.

The most I ever swam growing up, was taking advanced beginner swim lessons back when I was under the age of 10.  I played golf in high school and through college.  I was never a runner; and in elementary school I would cry because I had to run in P.E. class.  Growing up I rode my bike around the farm, on the dirt roads and on the ramps we would create out of cement blocks and two by fours.

July 2011

Two years ago, I thought I would TRY and learn to swim, so I showed up at the master swim class at the University of Tennessee Allen Jones Aquatic Center, which I would argue  is one of the nicest swimming pool in the area--olympic athletes have swam there.  When I showed up for my first class, I could barley swim one length of the pool--I thought I had no business being there.  After showing up, what I found was amazing swimmers of all level who were complete strangers, but so supportive of me being there and making improvements on being able to swim one pool length to two pool lengths.  I always feared the days when we had to swim the 50 meter pool set-up, wondering if I could make the whole length without stopping.  I showed up with determination to swim--two years later, here I am, still a work in progress and not overly fast, but I can go the distance, I can swim.

Lately, I have heard too many people say, "I'll work up to it", or "maybe someday".   Let me say, NOW IS THE TIME to believe in yourself that you do have courage, to step up to your goal and THEN work up to it.  Two years ago, I stepped up to a master swim class, when I had minimal ability to actually swim but I had determination.  I finally decided that I shouldn't work up on my own to try and swim, I'm just gonna show up and figure out how I can get better.  Because I stepped up with determination, I was able to work up to my goal of learning to swim.

Through all this, I have found that the best way to work up to some goal or dream, is to be surrounded by people who support you, walk with you and teach you along the way.  Looking towards 2014, don't worry about working up to something or being good enough to do something, step up with determination and believe in yourself, change your mindset from 'I can't' or 'sometime day I will' to NOW IS THE TIME because with determination and commitment, YOU CAN!

Once you step up to your goal, don't lose your discipline and determination and do all that you do with a purpose.  "The conscious practice of routines leads to the unconscious habits of success," (Book: Mind Gym pg. 166).

Two years ago, I was struggling to swim 300 yards, today I swam 3800 yards.  It wasn't my olympic swimming abilities or speed that got me there, it was my determination and commitment that got me there.  Step up, show up and work up to your goal with determination--don't wait until you feel qualified or good enough.  Now is the time, you have the ability to step up to your goal, to show up and work towards your goal with determination and commitment--this is foundational for your goals in 2014.  

Leaving an Imprint

Leaving an Imprint

A farmer, a neighbor, a soldier, a friend, a husband, a dad.
Grandpa Vernie led by example, with his hard-working attitude;

construction worker at 70 and co-founder of Kahl’s Kettle Korn, working well into his 80s,
many roles he had,

Today we celebrate, grandpa Vernie and his impact on our lives, with much gratitude.

Grandpa Vernie had a sense of humor that you could always count on,

for he always made people feel loved and always had a smile, which was never a chore,

and his homemade ice cream was always at risk of being gone,

because grandpa always asked, “you know what this tastes like........ more.”

Grandpa Vernie impacted the lives of others by how he did live,

from plowing out the church lot and other driveways before his own,

caring for others, he always had something to give;

sharing God’s love with others is what he has shown.

Grandpa Vernie always had a smile and a heart of gold,

he touched many lives because a stranger he never met, 

always friendly to everyone, many stories he told,

from coffee at the Inwood Cafe University or on drives to California and anywhere he went.

A World War II Veteran and a hero to us all,
showing endless love and respect for the U.S.A,

He humbly wrote a book, about Army life as Sgt. Kahl;

his stories and efforts caring for others we will cherish each day.

From raising the flag at the Twins game,

to many weddings and birthdays and an Honor Flight to DC;

We all have our special stories and memories; some different, some the same,

Grandpa Vernie will always be special to you and to me.

May we celebrate the memories;

May we live our lives in this world and impact the lives of others
as Grandpa Vernie has shown us;

      smiling always,
      finding humor,
      living in the moment, 

      sharing our stories,
      and loving others with a heart of gold.

By: Noel Christine Kahl Reagan

My First Olympic Distance Triathlon

Often times triathletes start with a sprint distance race and increase distances as they go.  I was never a swimmer and I decided that if I was ever going to swim a long distance in the open water that I should just do the 70.3 race distance--which I completed in May 2013.  Many of my fellow triathlon club friends have enjoyed an Olympic Distance (0.9 mile swim, 24 mile bike and 6.2 mile run) race called Fall Creek Falls, so I decided that I would compete in that race.

The race backdrop was the Tennessee rolling hills at Fall Creek Falls State Park, about 90 minutes from Chattanooga. I was blessed to travel with two wonderful friends, Ed and Britta Rusk.  Britta was also racing, and I'm thankful she shared her race 'sherpa' Ed with me as we prepared for the race, a definite blessing.  Chattanooga is in the eastern time zone and the race is held in central time zone--which makes for a nice race start time instead of crazy early.

Of course the weather was looking rainy, but since there has been rain at every race I have competed in this year, I no longer let that bother me.  Prior to this day, my training had been in maintenance mode so my expectations for this race was to simply finish.  Understanding how little training I was able to do, my comfortable goal was 3 hours 15 minutes and my target goal was 3 hours.  I was not overly nervous since my expectations were so low and once I found out the race was wet-suit legal, I immediately had a wave of comfort because wearing a wet suit in a race essentially keeps you afloat.  I also knew that as long as I would finish, I would have a PR!

Before the swim

TOTAL TIME: 2:52:56
    SWIM: 31:20        
     T1: 5:22
    BIKE: 1:19:40      
    T2: 1:16
    RUN: 55:16

SWIM (0.9 miles)
     The swim was an in-water wave start, and I estimated there were probably no more than 40 people per wave.  This race was my second in-water open water swim start triathlon, my 3rd open water swim triathlon ever.  My swimming goal was 35 minutes, and I set this after I swam half the race distance in the open water the week before the race.  My mantra for the swim was 'stay consistent and confident,' and also always, 'don't freak out'--which I didn't.  This being my 3rd open water swim triathlon--I still have a lot of room for improvement.  My swim time for 0.9 miles was 31:20, so I easily met my goal, which was awesome because my 1.2 mile swim in the 1/2 ironman took me approximately 50 minutes--there was a huge improvement.  Swimming 25 minutes for this distance will be a dream goal some day.

Transition Run

       I knew starting at the back of my swim wave would easily add 2-3 minutes on to my time so I inched up towards the middle-to-front of the wave in the water before the start.  I was one of the last to get in the water, but had enough time to get comfortable before our wave began.  I swam the first 25 yards with my head up since it was more crowded and once everyone found their place I swam 'normal'.  The course was triangle-ish in shape and not overly crowded, I actually passed more people than I expected.  I didn't have any difficulties with the swim or running into people, but turning corners probably took more time than needed.  Also there was a long straight away that I felt like I was swimming against a small, small current, so I tried to keep my swim cadence (if there is such thing) at a faster rate.  I felt like my swim exit was slow and I added some time but I felt like I was getting lazy as I approached shore.

   There was a lengthy transition from the swim to the actual transition area and it would have been helpful if I would have scouted this out before the race.  The hill and the transition run was longer than I expected.  Mentally I would have benefited seeing this before the race began.

BIKE (approx. 24 miles)
     In preparation for this race, due to summer travels, I only was able to ride my tri bike about 3 times before the race.   I spend time in July on the computrainer in NYC, on a road bike that was not mine.  I wanted to push myself on the bike as much as I could, but I was really unable to find my groove during this race.  The entire 24 miles, I was rather uncomfortable and ready for the ride to be over.  I didn't really set a race goal for the bike, and I think that may have been a mental road block for me too.

Beginning the bike

    The course was constant hills, so I took my sherpa Ed's advice and tried to gain speed going down the hills--the was the only thing I felt like I did alright.  Given the lack of time I had to prepare for this race, I was satisfied with an 18.7 mph average, and a bike time of 1:19:40.  It started to drizzle the last 2 miles, but nothing that I needed to slow down for.  I had 1 gu and 1 bottle of cytomax on the bike, and some water and that worked well.  I did take a bottle of water at the turn around, just out of fear that I would run out, it was an unnecessary move.  I'm excited to actually ride more before this race next year--and return, I think the bike course would be more enjoyable.

My transition from the bike to the run went well, I was able to keep it simple and clean and I didn't forget my race belt (which I have done in the past).  I clocked 0:1:16 for that transition.

RUN (6.2 miles)

Run Finish... The look on my face is priceless

     (Background) Since May, I have had minor issues with my left foot, and I spent about 2 months not running at all. As July approached, I knew if I was going to do an olympic distance triathlon, I needed to run more.  So I started building a base and ran about 3 miles approximately 4 times per week.  At the beginning of August, I knew I needed to bump that distance, though I still had some lingering foot ache.  In addition to a few 3 mile runs, I did 1 track workout, 1 run of 5 miles and a couple brick runs after I got done biking.  Sherpa Ed's advice for me on the run was to run like someone is chasing me.  With my situation, my target for the run was to complete it in about 1 hour and not further hurt my foot.

  It started to rain as I began the run, which is a rather hilly run through the gorgeous state park--I loved the run course, yes it was hilly, but scenic, shady and cool.  After I started, I had a gu right before the mile 1 water stop.  I typically run by feel and I usually start out faster on the run and then pace down into my groove, which remained rather steady throughout the run, my average pace was 8:55/mile.  There is one out and back where you have to run down a hill about 0.2 miles and then immediately turn around and run back up.  Eventually around mile 3.5 I passed one girl who was in my age group, since we started the swim together, I knew that if she passed me back, she would beat me.  Well, Ed's advice worked--after this point I actually ran like someone was chasing me.  I moved and kept a decent lead on her, but later saw her on a switch back around the lake, and it looked like she was getting a little close for comfort, so I dug into the pain cave, which was not enjoyable, but I had it in me and my foot was feeling okay.  At the last aid station, I took another gu, I knew I would need the extra energy for the last mile and to push up the hill--I would not let this girl pass me.  I almost wish I would have passed her earlier on the run, I felt like I had a better run after passing her.  It's really amazing how much your mind can impact your race.

Yes, it's raining

FINISHING
     I learned in high school cross country (which I ran my senior year) that always give a little extra at the end and so I had a strong finish up the painful hills and into the final few hundred yards, and of course it was raining.   The girl in my age group never passed me and I surpassed my goal and finished in 2:52:56 for my first Olympic Distance Triathlon and I hope to return to Fall Creek Falls next year and set and accomplish new goals.

I was thankful for the many friends from the Chattanooga Triathlon Club for all the support and encouragement.  We had a great group of people who were there racing and people who were simple there to cheer for fellow club members, which was a true joy!  I have met some pretty incredible friends in the last year and a half and I don't think I would have completed a half-ironman and an olympic distance race this year if I didn't have the camaraderie and support from this group of people.  I have had many people support me in overcoming my open water swim fear, both my close friends and people who barely even know me who stepped up to swim with me for practice or to offer encouraging words.

I may seem like a natural athlete, but I have had to work hard to accomplish these new race distances and I look forward to learning more about pushing myself to my full ability in future races, time to move onward from being a beginner.

My First 70.3 Half-Ironman Triathlon: More than You Want to Know

5 years ago I did my first two triathlons, sprint distance, pool swims with 9 & 15 mile bikes and 2 & 3 mile runs, I rode a hybrid bike that I had to borrow and during the swim I had to take a breath at each end of the pool--I only beat 9 people in my first triathlon I ever completed.  I remember how proud I was for completing a race, which 3 weeks prior to my first race I had no idea what a triathlon was, thanks to strangers I met at the gym, I entered the race.  Not long after those races, I bought a 'real bike', and since then I completed a number of pool swim triathlons.  In September 2012 I completed my first open water swim race, Frantic Frog Sprint distance triathlon, and this was a huge milestone, because I've never been great at swimming and I've always been terrified of open water swimming.  I put many hours in the pool and eventually that developed my confidence to survive the swim without losing my mind and so I could actually swim the whole distance without a break.

My first 1/2 marathon in 2007
(my 1st triathlon had no photo because
I went to the race by myself, not really knowing anyone)

As a child I never passed advanced beginner swim lessons, I never knew much about biking besides riding around the farm, and as I child I hated running, but ended up joining the cross country team my senior year of high school because I didn't play basketball and someone convinced me to join the team--peer pressure at it's finest.  On May 5, 2013 I completed my first 70.3, half-iron distance race.  Prior to the race I had only completed one open water swim race in my life, so deep down I wasn't sure how this race was going to happen.  I was curious at how I was going to exercise for 6+ hours straight and how I'd figure out the nutrition.

I am living proof that if you are an ordinary person who is determined, willing to work hard and be committed  you can accomplish something that you never thought you could do.  I never had the resources to hire a coach or spend a lot of money on a training plan, but I surrounded myself with experienced triathletes, read some books, articles and free training plans and it worked and I am beyond grateful for folks I met through the Chattanooga Triathlon Club who offered advice, endured training WITH me, and supported me on this journey--words cannot express my gratitude.

TOTAL TIME: 6:49:44 (every minute in the rain)
SWIM: 49:49
        T1: 9:24 (including 1/4 mile barefoot run where I couldn't feel my feet)
   BIKE: 3:39:21 (including bathroom stop :-)
         T2: 4:49
     RUN: 2:06:22 (including 2 major creek crossings :-)


PRE-RACE
I arrived the race venue, World's Fair Park, with 3 great friends; Kelli S., Drew S. and Jennifer L.---people I spent time training with and people who were incredibly supportive as we all strived to race the Rev3 half-iron distance triathlon in Knoxville, TN.  A half-iron distance race is 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike and 13.1 mile run.  We registered and checked in our bikes, we had intentions of swimming, but the weather changed our plans, which I was fine with.

Going into the weekend I had hope that it wouldn't be rainy, the forecast wasn't looking good the week before the race, there was 80-90% chance of rain that seemed to change by day and I put my hope in the 10-20% chance that it wouldn't rain.  By Saturday (day before race day) there was a 100% chance of rain.  I was preparing for 50-59 degree temperatures and rainy weather the whole time.  I've ridden my bike when it's been slightly rainy and I've ran a whole 1/2 marathon in the rain with my sister-in-law Jada, so I was mentally prepared--I've done this before, but I was not overly excited about the weather.

The night before the race we enjoyed a wonderful meal at Noodles and Co, I had Japanese Pan Noodles with 1/2 chicken breast and a side caesar salad, and my husband was able to join us.  I did not sleep well because the alarm in our hotel was set for 11pm, so as I was falling asleep, I was awoken by this unruly alarm clock that I did not set, and I then woke up around 4am, without an alarm, apparently I was ready to race and I do like to eat about 3 hours before a race, so my timing was impeccable.

I loaded my transition bag with more items than normal, I wasn't sure what clothing I would need when and how many layers I would need.  We enjoyed a nice walk to transition, it wasn't raining at this point, (I knew it was only a matter of time) and we arrived transition around 5:30am, I pumped air into my tires, around 95 psi, ready to roll on the wet pavement.  My transition area contained many different items, I stored a number of them in the box by my bike, just in case I needed something, I mean I was a newbie at this race distance, I really didn't know what was going on.  After transition area was set we had to walk about 1/2 mile to the swim start, I was ready to go!

Before the weather was a factor, my ultimate goal for my first 1/2 iron distance race was to stay mentally focused, have fun and finish in under 7 hours--COMPLETELY DO ABLE!  The weather changed my race day goal to finish safely, deep down, I still wanted to finish in under 7 hours, but I knew I would slow down on the bike, SAFETY WAS KEY FOR ME!

My mantra for the weekend was to 'do what I could, with what I had, where I was' and I kept reminding myself this in preparation for this race, that I once thought was impossible.

SWIM
The water temp on race day was a balmy 60 degrees, but due to the rain, the Tennessee River was flowing at a nice pace and I was sure glad that I could wear my wetsuit and I wore two swim caps to keep me warm.  This was my first long-distance swim race so I intentionally started at the back of the pack to eliminate chaos, which ultimately made my swim time longer, but that's okay--I'm not a swimmer and I did not want to freak out because of people swimming over me, which worked!  I swam the whole way and did not stop or have to change strokes, though after finishing the swim up-river, I flipped on my back for a minute in relief and celebration!  I also ended up passing a few folks, which was sure encouraging.  My swim goal before the weather was 40-50 minutes and my actually finish time was 49:49, it took me around 27 minutes to get to the turn bouy, about 1/3 of a mile up-river, the swim upstream was difficult, but do-able, even for a non-swimmer!

I was almost emotionally upon my swim exit because I just couldn't believe I actually swam 1.2 miles in a race, in a river without stopping--I've overcome a huge fear and I was in awe of myself.  I got through the thoughts without emotion taking over because I had to keep going and I couldn't feel my feet upon exiting the water so I needed to keep smiling and keep on moving.  I saw my wonderful husband as I exited the water and all I could do was smile.  I then made the 1/4 of a mile run barefoot to the transition area, hoping to get the blood flowing in my feet.  I was slow in transition, trying to figure out what I should wear on the bike, I knew this decision could make or break me.  I have a lot of improvement to make in the swim part of the triathlon, but looking back 5 years ago, I can't believe I did this!  As I was leaving transition with my bike, a group of folks from the Chattanooga Triathlon Club were cheering me on--once again, almost emotional, just thinking about the incredible community and support that I have found in this group that I have only been part of for a year--no time for emotions, time to roll out and get on my bike!

BIKE
56 miles on my bike, the last time I rode over 50 miles was in early March with temps in the 30s and it was snowing/raining, so I knew I could do this.  I wore arm warmers, my rain coat and added some bike shorts, I was ready to roll, I strapped on my helmet, put on some clear sunglasses and left transition after a long 9 minutes of regrouping and hoping I had everything.  About 30 seconds after leaving transition I realized I forgot my bike gloves, after a moment of worry and uncertainty, I knew I couldn't go back and I didn't have time to get angry, so I rolled on.

About 2 miles into the bike, I wasn't even out of the city limits and the light rain, turned to a heavy rain and I looked at my garmin and was wondering how I was going to keep riding another 54 miles.  I picked up my attitude and rolled on, without my bike gloves.

This course was fairly hilly and with the extremely wet conditions, it was rather dangerous, I kept things slow and so did many other racers.  My hope was to ride the course in around 3 hours 15 minutes and I ended up riding in 3 hours and 39 minutes, given the hills and road conditions and the fact that the rain never let up, I was fine with it, and I was absolutely amazed that MY HANDS DID NOT GET COLD, an absolute miracle.  I later found out that a number of races had to drop out on the bike course (I heard of about 20+) because of hypothermia, I did not realize how terrible it was out there.  I wasn't too shocked by all the hills since I train in Chattanooga, but the longer climb at mile 47 wasn't very enjoyable, and then there were a couple nice steep burner hills at the end that were pretty terrible, I was glad to be done at the end.

PICTURE: Bike elevation chart

I consumed a lot more calories on the bike than I expected (this was probably a real good thing).  I didn't really have a 'nutrition plan', but had a good idea of what may work for me, I just took food items that I knew my stomach could handle.  My plan was just to eat as much as I could and eventually, I decided to eat when I was bored, which caused me to consume more.  A good friend of mine reminded me before the race to drink water even when I was cold, and I did not forget this...which made me have to stop for the bathroom on the bike.  20 minutes into the ride I had my first vanilla gu and then I had another one around 1 hour, after that I just kept consuming calories, it helped me pass the time and survive the misery.  In total I consumed: 22 oz (2 servings, 90 calories each) of cytomax, 3 gels (90 calories each), 2 raw rev 100 calorie bars, and 1 pack of honey stinger gummies (160 calories): a total of 810 calories... this seems like a lot, but I felt fine and had around 24 oz. of water.  I may have over-ate and over-drank on the bike, but I was warm and I felt great going into the run.


RUN
Transition 2 was faster than 1, but still a slow transition, I just wanted dry socks for a minute, so after the bike, I did change socks and once I started my run, they were immediately wet because it was still raining.   I started out running around puddles and keeping my feet dry, but soon realized it would be impossible. The puddles eventually covered the entire greenway path and there was no going around them.  I started the run feeling great and my mile time showed that, but I think I may have started thinking about the conditions and my pace started to slow.  Around Mile 3 I reached the first flooded area, it was an out and back run, so I know it would be more flooded when I came back---THIS WAS GOING TO BE INTERESTING!

The course was incredibly hilly, constant hills, but I knew that going into the race, but I forgot how hilly it was going to get.  I had a gel at miles 4, 8 and 10, which is typically for when I run stand-alone half-marathons--it worked for this race too.  I only drank water out on the course and I did feel fine the whole race--I usually have sport beans, but since I consumed so many calories on the bike and it was colder, I wasn't too worried about extra-electrolytes.  My mile time was really impacted on the hills and I would have ran it a little differently if I would have thought about it more, but I felt good the entire run, but started to feel it the last 2 miles.  Mentally I was fine, but I could have been more focused.

I found a running partner around mile 9, climbing out of the Sequoyah hills neighborhood, he was walking and I told him he should be running with me, so he did and eventually he kept me running when I wanted to walk some of those last big hills, thanks to Brooks for keeping me motivated! We actually had to run through a lot of standing water and the creek was flooded in a few different areas, the water was just below my knee, so that was fairly interesting--I couldn't believe it, I never imagined I would have to run through a creek on a half-iron distance race--ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN!  My average heart rate on the run was steady at 150, which I am blessed to have no problems with my heart rate.

Around mile 11, the rain did not let up, I started to calculate if I could make it in under 7 hours total time and I realized I had 33 minutes to do 2 miles, I could meet my goal, I pressed on to finish my first 1/2 ironman with a time of 6 hours and 49 minutes and I was grateful to have my wonderful husband and a supportive group of friends from the Chattanooga Triathlon Club there to celebrate this goal as I completed!  The final 200 meters was very muddy grass areas, which was an expected end to a long and wet race, but that did not diminish my smile!  I was feeling a little emotionally again at the end of the race, just in total amazement that I was actually able to do this--I wasn't really sure how things would come together, but I was sure blessed to feel great the whole race!  This was something I always wanted to do, but never knew that I could actually make it happen--and it wouldn't have happened without the support from my husband and the insight I gained from many Chattanooga Triathlon Club folks, too many people for me to name.


I am living proof that an average human being can complete a half-iron distance race if you commit and stick with it!  I went from not even knowing what a triathlon was 5 years ago and barely able to swim a lap in a pool, to finishing my first 1/2 ironman, with no coach (they are expensive), just people along the way who gave me insight and pointers.  Finishing a long distance race is possible if you commit to it, stick with it, have fun and stay determined!  Surround yourself with people who have experience with your dream race distance--ask them questions and take their wisdom, and most importantly, find confidence from within yourself--that confidence will carry you to the finish line.  Don't worry about not being good enough, don't believe the doubts that other people might tell you--trust in your confidence and your desire to work hard toward your goal.

I am still not the greatest swimmer, and I am improving on my biking, but no matter what, I never lost confidence in what ability I had race day and that is how I made it to the finish line.  I never lost confidence that God gave me the gifts and ability to press on and do the best I could, where I was, with what I had for my first 70.3 race.  I'm ready to sign-up for another one--who's with me?

Being Present in the World: with God and with Others

     For over seven years I spent many hours each Sunday at the church, this has been my vocation and my life.  Rob and I felt it was best for us to make a move and therefore I left my paid vocation position at the church.  The church where we now attend has both Sunday morning worship and a nice Sunday evening worship.  We often choose to worship at the evening time and this has led to occasional relaxing Sunday mornings.  Today I wanted something different and I drove down the road to a local coffee shop with no expectations.  I had a curiosity about what happens in the world, during 'regular church time' and what people do with their time.  Of course, there were numerous people running and biking and maybe a few folks out and about who went to the early worship service.  To the coffee shop I went with a backpack holding my computer, a stack of books about triathlons, my devotion book I hadn't opened in a month and my journal.
       As I drove down the street, I was wondering who I would see at a coffee shop at 9:30am on a Sunday?  As expected I saw a handful of people in their 20s-30s with a laptop or other electronics, some with books, I saw a few people just done running, a girl sitting there knitting, a couple guys in their 50s, a 30 something guy just returned from a campout, a few folks who were wearing their Sunday best clothes and eventually a young family with their preschool aged daughter joined us.  Using a ministry, churchy word, the Sunday morning coffeeshop crowd was truly an inter-generational group and a group who didn't just pass through, this group came to be in that place.
     Upon arrival I placed my ordered and scouted out a seat at a table, waiting for the cozy chair in the corner to open up.  I opened my devotion book and the chapter I left off at was titled, "The Practice of Being Present to God,"  how fitting.  After reading a few pages, the chair in the corner opened up, so I made my move into the area with couches and comfy chairs.  This move led to 2 hours of conversation about life with people like me, choosing not to be at an established church on a Sunday morning.  Yet in a unique way--we were church together, sharing in conversation--deep conversation about our lives, about hopes and dreams and even moments where we talked of death.  God was present and is present in these moments.  As strangers, what did we talk about?  Upcoming events in our city, what area of town we lived in, one guy share about his passion for auctions and his quest to furnish a whole house for less than $2000, a guy shared about his daughters college opportunities, a couple shared they were originally from Joplin, MO, they opened to share how death impacted their extended family through the tornado, and a lady talked about her graduate school work and vocational hopes, the list could go on and on.  I can't count the number of times someone in our little couch circle said, "I overheard you saying..." and then they would continue to ask a question or make further conversation.  Eventually another guy in his 20s showed up and just because we were talking about a new 'developing' area of downtown, he started talking about a new ministry that was beginning out of the Episcopal church--this young adult was 'burnt out from church' and actually sometimes attends or use to attend the church where Rob and I have been attending.  My heart was grateful and prayerful for an experience outside of the typical Sunday Church that I needed.
      Don't get me wrong, I am not at all saying Church is a bad thing, but there needs to be time we, church going people, spend beyond the church doors where we can 'be' and not just 'do'.  Barbara Brown Taylor shares a quote in her book "Alter in the World" and it says, "The best preparation for a life of prayer is to become more honestly human," (page 175).  Where do you become honestly human?  Even deeper, are you truly honest to yourself and to God?    In this book Taylor talks about written, sung, and spoken communal prayers as a centering way to begin our day and live our lives and what a blessing for us to be part of a communal voice of prayer during worship with fellow believers in a church community.
     To live a life of prayer and always acknowledge the presence of God in our midst we must practice regularly.  Now is the time to wake up, to know and live, that prayer is beyond what we say and what we do--prayer is acknowledging the presence of God wherever we are, prayer is a time to be.  I encourage you to take a Sunday morning, during 'typical church time' and go by yourself to a local place where people may be instead of at church--and experience God in a new way.  Go vulnerable and ready to share life with people you have never met before and may never see again.
     My heart is open to a life of prayer in a new way.  My heart is open to life with strangers and I lift prayers for them because of our conversation and sharing about our lives, which led to specific prayers I yearn to lift up for them.  My heart is open to offering constant prayers of thanksgiving and prayers of hope for what I see around me.  I am awake and I pray that you can be awake and remember that we are in God's presence and called to be more intentional about seeing the presence of God in the 'real world' outside of the church doors.  I pray that more people who regularly walk through the church doors can intentionally open their eyes and see the presence of God beyond the church.  I pray people of the Church can acknowledge there is need to INTENTIONALLY be in God's presence outside of the church building.  INTENTIONALLY.  Ultimately, remember to love Jesus, and love people in the real world, while you acknowledge the presence of God everywhere you go.  May we all know that we are called to follow Jesus, just as we are. Being a follower of Jesus is not easy, and we must remember that following Jesus is a call beyond the doors of the Church building.

PONDER THIS
Where or when have you experienced God lately?

When are times you probably forget to acknowledge the presence of God?

In the future, how can you INTENTIONALLY acknowledge the presence of God?

Read Acts 13:1-4 and ask yourself, what are the people of the church called to do?  (gather and go!!)

Where are you called to 'be' within your community?  (note: not what are you called to do)


PRAYER
Lord,
We acknowledge the presence of the Holy Spirit in our midst and help us to know and remember the presence of the Spirit.  Give us the strength to be vunerable and share life with strangers we encounter in our world and help us to see where in our community that we are called to 'be'.    You are the reason we are here on this earth and for you alone we live to do your will.  In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

Listening for the Knock

I have two older sisters and a younger brother and we were all born within about 5 years.  Growing up, my parents would let us stay out until a particular time, depending on the night and what was going on and it was very important if we wanted to stay out late (late as in midnight) the next weekend or in the future, we had to be home on time.  My parents were fortunate and I was a great kid, rarely was I late for the curfew they set.  If I was going to be a few minutes late, I would sometimes try to sneak in without making a noise so my mom would think I was home on time but she would always hear me.  I always wondered how she could hear me because I was incredibly quiet.  The attentiveness my mother had listening for me to come home at curfew is the attentiveness we need for God.  

Job, a great guy you can read about in the Bible, endured so much pain and suffering.  God reminded him many times to listen, to be silent, God will speak (Job 33:31-33).  We are reminded in Psalm 46:10 to be still and know that God is God.

“Each of us needs an opportunity to be alone, and silent, to find space in the day or in the week, just to reflect and to listen to the voice of God that speaks deep within us.  Our search for God is only our response to God’s search for us.  God knocks at our door, but for many people their lives are too preoccupied for them to be able to hear.” ~Cardinal Basil Hume of England (found in Joyce Rupp’s book Open the Door, page 47).

I reflect back on my journey thus far in life, and I see how many times I did not notice God calling me, or notice God in my life because I was too busy with my own agenda and schedule.  Until I took time to listen for the knock, I did not hear or notice God.  I am blessed to have listened for the knock, and answered God’s call.  I celebrate God’s presence in my life each day because I often take time to notice God’s presence all around me.  I encourage you to take a moment, each day or each week and listen for the knock; whether you do this in silence, reading scripture, in worship or in prayer…please, please take time to be in the presence of God and notice the presence of God in your life each day.  

PONDER THIS

When do you feel closest to God?

What distracts you from God? 

Where did you see God in your life today?  (ask yourself this each day for a week)

How have you or how do you hope to find time to listen for God and to notice God’s presence in your life?

PRAYER

God, Thank you for your love and your grace.  I am often focused on my schedule and my own desires, please give me the patience to listen and the desire to see your presence in my life each day.    In your Holy Name I pray, Amen.

The accordion Merry Christmas from Noel

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